BUT YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND...I NEED TO WRITE THIS!!!!

That's right...for too long I have been sat for seven hours a day in front of a Dell flatscreen shuffling files between directories, entering data into in-house systems, proving that I can multi-task and deal with working under pressure. I have been doing everything I can to work as apart of a team and yet be self-directed and self-motivated, capable of being left alone to get on with my work. I can give you dozens of examples where I was faced with a difficult decision and thousands of examples of how my previous experience would allow me to make a success of the next job. But I am seriously fed up...I wasn't shot into this world by my mother's great natal pelvic thrust...bearing all the arrogance and self-confidence in the world...to watch my years tick by on an Outlook calendar...measuring each week by scheduled meetings and appointments...I was born to set this world on fire...to tear up the flaccid partitions around me and roar a mighty lupine howl for freedom...choice...spirit and personality.

Alas as I stare at my computer screen to write this...I realise the reality is far more grim...I am in fact a slave to the nine to five...a drone of an administrative hive...caught in the dreary grind of working to earn...to eat...to party...living for the weekends and evenings...actively despising the hand that feeds my rock n roll dreams...wishing I could burn out...explode like a huge bomb of abandon and take out every office block in the square mile.

I am Clark Kent and Superman...except Clark is shirking every bit of work possible and Superman is getting as fucked up and nasty as he physically can...

now that's self-motivation.

Sitting at my ply-wood workstation, eating sandwhiches and crisps and coke...I am beginning to get fat...fat like a middle-management piss-ant who's tie languishes in a food coma atop the paunch a small man's midriff...I don't want a paunch...something has to be done about this!! Do I feel guilty that I spend my time clicking on the refresh button on my emails waiting for something to come in that might set my day on fire...rather than archiving the lastest box of files...a little...but not enough to stop me pressing that button...

I am fantastic at working as a team...

It is amazing how I can string a 5 minute job out for two hours...

yet still I am fantastic at working under pressure.

My after-life inhabits a world far more rapid and inspiring...where the consequences ravage my body rather than my sanity...I reside nocturnally in the dingiest sweat-holes I can find...gravitating to where the drink is cheap, the girls are neck deep and the music drags you by the adam's apple and says dance you cunt else I'll knock you straight back to Monday morning.

Stick with me and I'll take you on a tour of the musical underbelly of London...we'll watch as the music industry crumbles in disarray...as bands get ripped off and ripped apart...others spark brightly as a flash in the pan only to fizzle out and fade tomorrow...we'll hear the confessions of wannabe youths shredding their fingers on frets and we'll spit on those who live in the swaggering shadow of Britpop and shout!!!...MOVE WITH THE TIMES...forevor in fear that once again we're hitting a musical drought...just like in the late 90's when we were taken over by inane manufactured pop and heartless dance records...where anything edgy and creative is sidelined...filed away as unmarketable...and we have to wait for America to send over the next Strokes and save our lily-white arses!!!

There are more bands than ever...and not enough money to put behind them...but some still run headlong against the brick wall...gigging week in and week out snarling at the industry nobs that promised they'd come to watch but chose their wives and their free tickets to watch Scissor Sisters instead...There are some kids that still turn out and lose their minds in the front row to something crazy that's just fucked their world over...or who find that irresistable pop hook amongst the madness, that killer melody buried in all the art...some kids who'll fall in love instantly with the tight jeans of a lead singer from a band who's biggest achievement is headlining the Dublin Castle...some kids who'll sneak backstage only to drink all the band's rider and steal a momento...a trophy of the band to wake up next to tomorrow.

It is for these people that the thousands of bands dream to succeed...and it is for them that the music industry will eventually turn around...remember that it's all about the kids...we all do it for the kids...and one day they will be the saviour of music-kind.

Did I mention I have a typing speed of 50+ words per minute

So watch this space...learn my movements...leave your office chairs and sofas...hit the town...why not dress up a little and see if you can track me down...I'll be somewhere out there where it's dark and the lights are flashing very fast and the girls are reeling and spilling drinks...and my feet are getting stuck to the floor and the music is dripping like sweat from the walls...read me here and I'll see you there...losing my inhibitions with the sprits on the dancefloor.

...I'm looking for that next step in my carerr path...something that will challenge and reward me equally...

VD